Santa Claus: Interesting Facts I Learned From A Date: Part 1

                                           You Can Steel A Porsche With A Tennis Ball

Claus (pronounced Kl-owess) was a Danish fashion photographer 1st assistant and lived in that weird traingle building across from 5 Leaves at Manhatten and Bedford avenues in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. He  was a very wiry, unique little fellow who could talk to anyone about anything. I had originally met him at Passer By in Chelsea about 4 years ago. I remember when I asked where his accent originated as we stood outside smoking a cigarette, Claus told me that dogs weren’t the only Great Danes to come out of Denmark. Having a weakness for perverted humour, plucky with and Vodka Sodas, I agreed to a date.

I learned many interesting facts from Claus, who yes managed to reference his lap to Santa Claus’ during those warm summer months.

Back in Copenhagen, Claus had been an amateur car thief.  Having grown up in the city,  he had connections to which he could sell off his inventory. Countless Lamborghinis, Porches, BMWs and Mercedes all had fell victim to the Great Dane in the early 90’s.

His three tools:  A small allen wrench, a thin sharp shank and a tennis ball.

He would drill a large hole in the tennis ball, walk up to a car, lean his back against the driver door and cover the lock with the hole of the tennis ball. Then he would punch the tennis ball creating an air vacuum, sucking an incredible flow of air through the key hole and unlocking the door, overcoming the car’s alarm.  Once inside, Claus would start the engine by wedging the shank and allen wrench into the ignition.

Things didn’t work out with me and Claus as Great Danes aren’t the only dogs to come out of Denmark.

Click here for a demonstration!


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